Explaining the Stoopid Impossibility of Brexit to Children

Brexit is nothing but a great big fat lesson for our children. It plays out like the tale of “The Emperor who had no Clothes”. What would such a modern morality tale look like? Well, something like this:

  • Once upon a time there was a Great Nation
  • The people of that Nation worked hard 5 days a week and enjoyed their hard earned weekends.
  • Every weekend the people headed to the beach, swam and bought ice creams
  • The Ice Cream and Swim Suit industries got together and agitated to make the weekend longer
  • They reasoned that longer weekend mean they would make more money and people would be happier
  • For many years they campaigned to tell the people that weekends were good and work was bad
  • People loved the idea of long weekends and easily believed all the stories they were told
  • The idea gained political weight because so many politicians sold Ice Cream and Swim Suits
  • The Politicians argued amongst themselves about how long a weekend should be
  • Finally the politicians resolved to put it to an advisory Referendum
  • The Referendum proposed that the weekend be 5 days and the working week 2 days
  • Those who wanted things left as they were were called “Workers”
  • Workers cried that a 5 day weekend could never work and everyone would be poor
  • Those who wanted longer weekends were called “Weekenders” and they had their own political parties who became very powerful
  • Weekenders said that a 5 day weekend meant they could take back control of their leisure time
  • The experts told the people that the economy would crash with only a 2 day working week
  • The Ice Cream Politicians said that was “Project Scary” and the people should ignore the experts
  • The Ice Cream Politicians rode around the country in a big red bus with pictures of people swimming in seas of ice cream
  • The people went “hmmmm.. ice cream..”
  • 52% voted for a 5 day weekend
  • 48% knew this would be catastrophic folly and voted to keep things as they were
  • People who worked hard and wanted to keep the 5 day working week were assaulted on the streets
  • Workers assumed that Parliament would do nothing – because the idea of a 5 day weekend is stupid
  • However the Government declared they had a mandate for a 5 day weekend and set to work making it happen – because that was kind of what they wanted to do anyway
  • Anyone who pointed out that the 5 day weekend was unworkable and stupid were derided as “traitors” and “saboteurs”
  • The Workers took the Government to court to ensure that Parliament had a say in the process
  • But Politicians were scared that they would lose their jobs to the Weekender political parties – so the Politicians did what the government told them to
  • The Politicians told the people that they could have a 5 day weekend yet keep all the benefits of a 5 day working week
  • However this was impossoble and the economy tanked because it wouldn’t work without work
  • The currency crashed as foreign investors found that the once great Nation was no longer “great”
  • All the factories and banks moved overseas because they couldn’t get anything done in the once great Nation
  • All the other Nations laughed at the once great Nation and took away their Business & jobs for they were willing to work 5 days a week like normal people
  • People had their 5 day weekends but found they had no money to buy Ice Cream and Swim Suits
  • Nobody went to the Beach anymore – now they queued at soup kitchens
  • The Weekenders blamed the Workers for not working hard enough
  • Nobody won/everybody lost
  • And nobody lived happily ever after
  • Especially the Children who grew up under the folly of the grown-up’s mistakes
  • When the children grew up they put back things the way they were
  • Then everyone lived happily ever after – and much wiser for the experience

About post-carbon-man

A passionate advocate of a peaceful transition to a sustainable political-economy, Mark hails from a working class farming background. Today he is a Company Director and Chairman of the Low Carbon Chilterns Co-operative. Whilst at University (Engineering Masters) he was active in Conservative Student politics but has had no affiliation since. He has travelled widely on business covering the USA, Europe, Middle East and Central Asian Republics. In 2007 Mark founded Post-Carbon-Living and a year later co-founded Transition Town High Wycombe. He lives with is wife & daughter in a home they retrofitted to be carbon-neutral. Today he blogs about surviving politics on a shrinking planet and is passionate in his rejection of Nationalism.

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